The RynoVirus

resourceful-ness

I was dumb yesterday. It was the first hot and sunny day in a while and I didn’t think I needed sunscreen while I was mowing for an hour and a half…

*quick note to self* Ryno, You are pale as a ghost! Never leave the house without sunscreen!*

Anyway, I got burnt. My first burn of the season. When I came inside it didn’t look that bad, my husband even said that I looked cute with a little color. But as the day went on, my cute burn turned from pink to tomato. I was desperately wishing that I had some Aloe in the house. Before bed, I was putting on some lotion onto my poor burnt legs when I had a crazy idea. Crazy enough it just might work…

I always keep some make-up remover wipes on my nightstand for nightly makeup removal. I turned over the package to check the ingredients and bam! Aloe! I rubbed one of those babies all over my crisp shoulders and legs. Although I would have liked to have had the real thing, I really felt like using a make-up remover wipe REALLY WORKED! Sweet relief!

So, for all you ladies out there who always have make-up remover wipes on hand. Check the package, it could really help in a pinch!

Okay, not okay…

It’s okay to wear mini mini skirts, I don’t wear them, but it’s okay. It’s okay to wear to skimpy, revealing underwear, you can go commando for all I care as long as I can’t see it…It’s even okay to ride your bicycle down the street, on a windy day. You want to know what’s not okay? Doing them all at the same time…

Yesterday when I was driving through downtown Champaign, I saw all of those “okay” things, all bundled up into a not okay package. I can’t imagine what this girl was thinking! As I saw her, there were several things that were going through my mind, it went a little something like this…

1. Wow, this girl has guts to be riding a bike with that short of a skirt on.

2. Please don’t tell me you are wearing a thong under there…

3. Oh my god, you are wearing a thong under there!

4. You know we can all see your butt right?

5. Come on, man. This is ridiculous.

After these few thoughts, the light was green and the dumb girl was out of sight. What made her think this was a good idea? Maybe it’s the new kind of “walk of shame”, where your one night stand allows you to take his bicycle home?  I guess i’ll never know…

Here’s the scoop

It’s officially springtime and that means warmer weather, and warmer weather means that I want to eat ice cream…all the time…For now, let’s set aside the fact that eating ice cream all the time isn’t good for you, that’s not what this is about.

What this blog is about is delicious ice cream. Now, when it comes to ice cream and all food in general, i’m not that adventurous. Since I was a young girl, my ice cream order has always been the same. Chocolate and chocolate. A blizzard with chocolate ice cream(substituted from vanilla) and m&ms has always been my go-to treat.

But…a few days ago, I saw an advertisement for Ben and Jerry’s Greek Frozen Yogurt. I don’t know what it was about it but I was determined to try it and let me tell you something, it. is. amazing. I’ve only tried a couple but Strawberry Shortcake is incredible! Incredible I say! If you’ve seen the advertisement and have been curious if it’s good. it is. I’m not the kind of person that writes a lot of product reviews, let’s just say I’m a sweet treat ambassador. So, if you’re looking for a summer-y treat, now you know what to try!

This ice cream is Ryno approved! Yum!

I guess it’s time…

Today, Jacob and I have been married for six months! Time has flown by and we’ve already had some amazing times! But now that we are at the six month mark, it’s time for us to have a baby…according to “the knot” website that is… While we were engaged, we used a wedding planning website to keep our friends and family updated on our upcoming marriage. So when I got an email this morning from “the Knot” I just assumed it was a “congratulations on six months!” sort of thing. Instead it was a “So, you’ve been married for six months, here are some tips on how to get pregnant” sort of thing. Thanks for the advice, but I took health class and I kinda already know how that works…

Anyway, the email just amused me, and now it shall amuse you.

a quick rant

I’m fairly tolerant of most types of weather…yea I complain when i’m too hot or too cold but it’s tolerable because I live in Illinois and the hot and the cold can only last so long before the next season rolls in. But this damn wind… this dang wind messes me up all year round!

Maybe I never noticed how much I hate strong wind because I used to live in a place that had hills and trees but now that I live in a place that is flat for miles and miles I’m literally blown away by this crazy wind. Enough is enough, for once I would love to be able to take out the trash without my hair being tangled up in knots. To make matters worse, my passenger side door in my truck needs to be realigned because every time I drive somewhere, that wind whips through that tiny space and makes the most annoying sound! It’s a sound I can only imagine would be the same as living inside a tornado. It gets so bad that I can’t even take phone calls in my truck because I can’t hear the person on the other end.

Even as I type this blog, the wind is whirling, whipping and whistling around my house…I swear it’s mocking me. It’s moments like this that I wish I could step outside my door and punch wind in the face. I hate you,stupid wind.

Don’t judge me by the thickness of my meat…

First things first…I understand that the title of this blog sounds gross. I did it on purpose because it’s funny and true.

A staple in our household is Deli meat, I always try to keep some ham or turkey in the fridge. When I visit one of the many grocery stores in the area, I try to be very precise when ordering at the deli counter. Proper deli counter etiquette says that you approach the counter, greet the deli technician, consult the slicing thickness chart and finally tell the “deli tech” your desired thickness and weight, which for me is .75 lbs and slice #1. Doesn’t seem so confusing to me, does it to you? Apparently in the slicing world, my #1 order is ridiculous. Everywhere I go, the “deli tech” gives me lip. “Are you sure?” “So you don’t want any meat?” “That’s pretty thin…”

I wasn’t asking, “deli tech”, I was telling. Surely I’m not the only one that prefers my meat sliced thin? Why is the #1 even an option if you are going to look at people like they are crazy? I still get what I want at the end but does it really have to be such an ordeal?

And yes, I did just write a blog about deli meat. I hope you were entertained anyway…

Wife challenge #1

I’ve been a wife for just over 3 months now and there are some tasks that are downright frustrating!

One of the tasks, I’m referring to, is folding fitted sheets. I’ve been trying to perfect my technique for months and I just can’t do it. Maybe it takes practice, but I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of it. Those stretchy corners make me want to pull my hair out! I’ve even tried to lay it all out of the floor and match up the corners just right…

No matter how I go about it, it always comes out looking like a jumbled mess anyway. There must be some sort of technique that I’m overlooking. If anyone out there knows what i’m doing wrong, let me know!!!

Shopped until we almost dropped

Yesterday was the annual Newell women shopping trip. We start at 7:30 am at Grandma’s house, drive to town for a quick doughnut, then we’re off. Farm & Fleet, Hobby Lobby, Bed Bath & Beyond, the Metro Centre, Target, and the mall later, me and my mom’s feet were so tired and sore, we thought we had shopped ‘till we dropped…until I had a terrific idea. We were in JCPenny in the mall when I noticed they had slippers on sale…see where i’m going with this? We both bought a pair of comfy slippers and we literally put them on right outside the store and I finished out the day in these slippers.

We still had a couple hours of shopping left, and I don’t think we would have made it without our slippers. Next year, I will come prepared!

What I’ve learned vol. 1

I’ve been married for almost 2 months now and I thought I would compile a list of things I have learned and new sayings that I’ve made up and funny moments of our marriage so far.

1. If your wife is under the influence of any kind of pain killers during the birth of your future children, it does not mean you should seize the opportunity to name your son “Taw” while she’s, “out of it”.

2. “Sleeping next to a man is like sleeping next to a boulder rolling down a cliff.” Just try to stay out of the way as much as you can to avoid serious injury.

3. Convo one morning. Jacob: “Will you bring me a soda and a snack to the field on your way to work?” Me: “Oh, so it’s on my way to work?” Jacob: “no.”

4. Soup is not an appropriate meal unless it’s below 55 degrees out and is accompanied by cheese and crackers or a sandwich.

5. Try to teach your men that the same rules apply for house cleaning and hotel room cleaning. If it’s on the floor, it gets washed. If you leave money on the table, it gets taken.

6. Man to wife: “You steal all the blankets” Translation: “I know I hog all the blankets, but last night I noticed that you held your ground so you wouldn’t freeze to death. Stop it.”

7. Letter openers are important

8. Requirements to change the address on your driver’s license:

           1.) 1 Arm

           2.) 1 Leg

           3.) 2 pieces of mail, handwritten and signed by the Pope

9.) Sometimes pretend punches thrown by your husband will accidentally connect with your face

10.) When your husband hands you his credit card, it’s not always funny to reply with “pleasure doing business with you.”

11.) If you can make delicious hot wings at home, it makes you a hero. Which I did and now I am.

12.) Not all farmers know the “the Farmer in the Dell” song. My cheese stood alone on that one.

I exaggerate for effect, of course. The time that we have been married so far has been terrific! We are a happy little family, me, Jacob and our cat Torrance.